Sex & Relationships
You can't get away from it; it's all around you, on the TV – adverts, soaps, films and songs. So you say
"everybody’s doing it – it's normal, it’s what young people do". They might talk about doing it but do you
know that for sure? And do you want to give away something that's so precious, to just anybody? You
can't get it back once it's gone, but you might get something you don't want.
Sexuality
Your body is changing and doing all sorts of strange things. It's not unusual in adolescence to be confused
about sexuality and it helps to be able to talk through your feelings with someone who will not judge you or
tell you what to do.
Emotional Problems
You may think that sex brings you closer, but the opposite is more accurate. Sexually active teenagers
often regret having sex in their early teens and report feeling 'used'. The resulting hurts can lead to low
self-esteem and depression.
Pregnancy
An unplanned pregnancy is a shock to anyone. Becoming a parent is a big responsibility. It can change or
delay the direction of your life as you now have another person to consider in the decisions you make.
We see young girls here in our Counselling Centre who, because of unprotected sex and a late period,
suspect that they might be pregnant. Some are and we are here to support them. A lot of the time they
haven't told their parents and this is the biggest obstacle to them. We help them to work out how they
can talk to their parents and get the support they need. Parents are usually supportive, once they get
over the shock.
We offer an opportunity to talk through your options: -
- Choosing to keep the baby can be very challenging when you're young yourself and you need lots
of support. - Adoption is another choice, which means going through with the pregnancy and giving the baby
up at birth to parents who may not be able to have children of their own and who have been
approved by Social Services for adoption. - Some girls consider abortion as an easy solution. Abortion is illegal in Northern Ireland.
However, although a termination may end the pregnancy, it won't end your problems. It is just a
trade for psychological and emotional problems which then have to be dealt with.
None of the above options is easy. Each has life-long consequences, so it is important not to rush into
anything. Talk it through. Remember, the choices you make today affect your future. For more information
about the options, follow the link to Crisis Pregnancy.
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)
Just when you thought you'd heard the worst! How many of these facts do you know?
- There are over 25 different infections.
- Approximately 1 out of every 10 sexually active teenagers has a STI.
- Not everyone infected will have symptoms.
- STIs can have long term effects like infertility and cancer.
- Some STIs are passed through skin to skin contact (full sexual intercourse is not necessary).
STIs include Chlamydia, Syphilis, Gonorrhoea, Genital Warts and Herpes. They can be passed on during
vaginal, anal and oral sexual intercourse, as well as through genital contact with an infected partner.
Reports show that there is a rising trend in STIs presenting for treatment and that the highest increase
has been among 16-24 year olds.
The best way to avoid any of these sex-related problems is to save sex until later and enjoy it in the
context of a lifelong committed relationship.
Relationships
You may feel under pressure to be sexually active in the relationship you're in at the moment. Remember
you are very special, it is your body and you have the right to say "No!" Once you do it, you can't undo it.
Don't be rushed, consider the possible outcomes. If your partner respects you they will wait.
If you're already sexually active and worried about any of these issues, don't panic. Call into the Centre
and talk them through with a trained counsellor, who won't judge you or your lifestyle and will listen and
offer you support. No need to make an appointment.
If you need more information in the meantime the Love for Life resource website will help with these issues and more including sexuality, pornography and masturbation, abstinence and contraception.